In a bizarre turn of events, a woman from Portland, Oregon, has filed for divorce just months after marrying herself in a highly publicized ceremony. The reason? She claims she’s “too high maintenance” to be married to herself.
The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, told reporters, “I thought I knew what I was getting into when I married myself, but I had no idea how demanding I could be. I constantly wanted attention, gifts, and compliments. It was exhausting trying to keep up with my own expectations.”
The self-marriage trend has been gaining popularity in recent years, with people claiming it’s a way to celebrate self-love and independence. However, this Portland woman’s experience has shed light on the potential pitfalls of such a commitment. “I thought I was my own soulmate,” she confessed, “but it turns out, I’m my own worst enemy. I even caught myself flirting with other people behind my own back!”
The divorce proceedings are expected to be complicated, as the woman is technically both the plaintiff and the defendant. Her lawyer, who is struggling to keep a straight face during the process, commented, “This is uncharted territory. We’re not sure if she’s entitled to half of her own assets or if she’ll have to pay alimony to herself.”
The woman says she’s learned a valuable lesson from this experience. “Self-love is important, but so is being realistic about your own flaws. I think I’ll stick to dating other people from now on – at least then I can blame them for the problems in the relationship.”