In a bizarre turn of events, a man has been permanently banned from the San Diego Zoo after teaching parrots to swear in multiple languages. The incident has left zoo officials stunned and visitors in fits of laughter.
The culprit, identified as 35-year-old Michael Thompson, had been a regular visitor to the zoo’s aviary for months. Little did the staff know, he had been secretly tutoring the birds in the art of profanity. “I never thought I’d see the day when our beloved parrots would be spouting curse words in Spanish, French, and even Japanese,” said zookeeper Emily Roberts, struggling to contain her amusement. “It’s like watching a group of sailors on shore leave.”
Thompson’s antics came to light when a group of schoolchildren visited the aviary on a field trip. The parrots greeted them with a barrage of multilingual expletives, leaving the children in a fit of giggles and the accompanying teachers mortified. “I was shocked at first,” admitted one teacher, “but I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard a parrot tell me to ‘va te faire foutre’ in perfect French accent.”
Zoo director, Dr. Amanda Simmons, expressed a mix of frustration and begrudging admiration for Thompson’s dedication to his unconventional language lessons. “While we can’t condone this behavior, I have to admit, I’m impressed by his commitment to teaching the birds,” she chuckled. “It’s not every day you hear a parrot tell you to ‘vete a la mierda’ with such gusto.”
As a result of his actions, Thompson has been banned from the zoo indefinitely. When reached for comment, he simply shrugged and said, “I guess I’ll have to find a new hobby. Maybe I’ll start teaching squirrels to rap.”