Springdale, Arkansas – A 32-year-old man was arrested last week for impersonating a chicken nugget inspector at a Tyson Foods factory. The suspect, identified as Randy “The Nugget” Johnson, managed to infiltrate the facility by donning a white lab coat and brandishing a clipboard with a crudely drawn Tyson Foods logo.
Johnson reportedly spent three days taste-testing nuggets straight off the production line before employees became suspicious of his unusual methods. Factory worker Lisa Martinez recounted, “He kept yelling ‘These nuggs are bussin’, fr fr!’ after each bite. I’m pretty sure that’s not standard quality control protocol.”
When questioned by authorities, Johnson defended his actions, stating, “I was just trying to ensure the nuggets met my rigorous standards of dippability and crunch factor. Someone’s gotta do it!” Tyson Foods spokesperson, Mark Williams, expressed disbelief at the incident, saying, “We’re baffled as to how he got past security. Our actual inspectors use sophisticated equipment, not just their mouths and a bottle of honey mustard sauce.”
Local police have charged Johnson with trespassing and theft of chicken nuggets. He is set to appear in court next month, where his lawyer plans to argue that his client was simply engaging in “immersive investigative journalism.” Meanwhile, Tyson Foods has announced plans to implement stricter security measures, including a “nugget knowledge” quiz for all visitors entering their facilities.