In a shocking turn of events that has left the quiet town of Millbrook, Vermont in a state of literary confusion, local librarian Mildred Bookworth has been fired from her position at the Millbrook Public Library. The reason? Her unconventional decision to relocate the entire horror section to the self-help shelves, a move she claims was “in the best interest of the community’s personal growth.”
Library patrons were bewildered when they found Stephen King novels nestled between guides on mindfulness and career advancement. “I came in looking for tips on how to manage my anxiety, and instead I found ‘Pet Sematary,'” said local resident Tom Wilkins. “I mean, I guess it did take my mind off my problems, but now I’m terrified of my cat.”
Bookworth, a 30-year veteran of the library, defended her actions, stating, “Horror novels are the ultimate self-help books. Nothing puts your own problems into perspective quite like a zombie apocalypse or a demon-possessed car.” Library Board President Eleanor Stern disagreed, commenting, “While we appreciate Ms. Bookworth’s creative approach to library science, we feel that ‘The Shining’ is not an appropriate recommendation for overcoming writer’s block.” As Bookworth cleared out her desk, she was heard muttering, “Just wait until they realize I put all the romance novels in the comedy section.”