San Francisco, California – Last week, VisaFi, a leading credit card issuer, rolled out its controversial “Shame Score” system, which rates users’ financial responsibility by analyzing purchases like novelty socks, midnight snack deliveries, and impulse buys at adult novelty stores. The score, integrated directly into users’ credit reports, promises to “encourage mindful spending” by docking points for anything deemed socially awkward or frivolous. Company executives claim it will revolutionize personal finance by turning embarrassment into motivation.
Dr. Elena Vargas, VisaFi’s 48-year-old chief innovation officer and former behavioral psychologist, defended the rollout at a press conference. “We’ve all woken up regretting that 2 a.m. order of glow-in-the-dark underwear—now your card knows, and it cares enough to lower your score by 15 points,” she said with a straight face. “Think of it as tough love from your wallet; next time you swipe for a whoopee cushion, remember it’s not just gas—it’s your future home loan at stake.” Early adopters are already seeing impacts, with one 32-year-old graphic designer named Alex Rivera reporting his score plummeted after a spree on vintage clown costumes for a party.
Consumer advocates are pushing back, but VisaFi insists the feature is opt-in and based on anonymized data. Rivera, still fuming over his now “embarrassingly low” rating, quipped, “I thought my biggest shame was buying those edible undies for date night, but now it’s knowing my card judges me harder than my ex.” As the system gains traction, experts predict widespread adoption within months, potentially leading to “Shame-Proof” premium cards for those willing to pay extra to hide their guilty pleasures.