Sunnyville, California – A 7-year-old entrepreneur’s lemonade stand has become the talk of the town after surpassing the local Starbucks in sales last week. Little Timmy Johnson’s “Timmy’s Tangy Treats” has taken the neighborhood by storm, leaving the coffee giant scrambling to keep up.
The pint-sized businessman set up shop on his front lawn, offering his secret recipe lemonade for just 50 cents a cup. Within days, lines stretched down the block, with customers abandoning their usual caffeine fix in favor of Timmy’s refreshing concoction. Sarah Thompson, a former Starbucks regular, explained her switch: “I used to spend $5 on a latte, but now I can get 10 cups of lemonade for the same price. Plus, Timmy doesn’t misspell my name on the cup.”
Starbucks district manager, Mark Davis, seemed perplexed by the sudden shift in consumer behavior. “We’ve tried everything to compete – unicorn frappuccinos, avocado toast, even free puppies with every purchase. But nothing seems to match the appeal of a kid in suspenders serving lemonade from a cardboard box.”
When asked about his success, Timmy simply shrugged and said, “I just wanted to buy a new Xbox. I didn’t mean to destroy a multi-billion dollar corporation.” His mother, Jessica Johnson, added, “We’re very proud of Timmy, but we’re a bit concerned about the angry mob of baristas camped out on our lawn.”
As news of Timmy’s success spreads, investors are already lining up to franchise “Timmy’s Tangy Treats.” Meanwhile, Starbucks executives are reportedly considering a bold new strategy: hiring kindergarteners as baristas and replacing their green aprons with adorable overalls.