In a shocking revelation that has sent ripples through the scientific community, a groundbreaking study conducted at the prestigious University of Fabrication in Statisticsville, Ohio, has found that a staggering 80% of statistics are made up on the spot. The irony of this statistic itself being potentially fabricated has not been lost on researchers or the public.
Lead researcher Dr. Ima Fibber stated, “We were absolutely flabbergasted by our findings. It turns out that 60% of the time, people make up statistics all the time.” When pressed about the discrepancy between the 80% mentioned in the study’s title and her 60% quote, Dr. Fibber quickly responded, “Well, there’s a 95% chance that I’m 50% sure about the 80% figure, give or take 30%.”
The study, which involved interviewing over 1,000 participants or possibly just 10 (sources vary), has drawn both praise and skepticism from the academic world. Professor Numb Cruncher from the rival Institute of Numerical Nonsense commented, “I find it hard to believe that only 80% of statistics are made up. In my experience, it’s closer to 92.7%, but I just came up with that number right now, so who knows?” As the debate rages on, one thing is certain: 100% of people reading this article are now questioning every statistic they’ve ever encountered.