August 25, 2025
Society
28-Year-Old Woman Files Missing Person Report For Man Who Ghosted Her After Three Dates
Austin, Texas — A 28-year-old data analyst, Clara Bennett, filed a missing person report with the local police department last…
August 22, 2025
Politics
45-Year-Old Man Attempts to Pay Taxes With Monopoly Money, Claims It’s “Just as Valuable as the Dollar These Days”
Springfield, Illinois – Last Tuesday, local man Bartholomew “Barty” Butterfield, a 45-year-old self-proclaimed “disruptor of traditional finance” and part-time cryptocurrency…
August 21, 2025
Society
Vegan Restaurant Accused of Sneakily Serving Real Cheese After Customer Notices It “Tasted Too Good”
**Portland, Oregon** – A popular vegan restaurant is facing serious allegations after a longtime customer became suspicious that their cashew-based…
August 20, 2025
Society
“I Thought It Was a Metaphor,” Says Man Who Literally Put All His Eggs in One Basket Before Tripping
### Portland, Oregon – Local Accountant Suffers Egg-streme Setback After Misinterpreting Common Idiom Yesterday morning in the bustling aisles of…
August 19, 2025
Politics
Ford Attempts To Dodge 25% Auto Tariff By Assembling Cars On A Barge 13 Miles Off The Coast of Miami
MIAMI, FL – Commuters heading south on I-95 yesterday were treated to an unusual sight: a massive industrial barge, christened…
August 18, 2025
Technology
Mark Zuckerberg Spotted in Ghillie Suit Holding Large Net Outside OpenAI Headquarters
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Commuters in the Mission District were treated to an unusual sight early Tuesday morning when Meta…
August 18, 2024
Sports
Competitive Eater Disqualified from Hot Dog Contest for Using Performance-Enhancing Condiments
Coney Island, New York – The annual Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest took an unexpected turn last week when…
August 17, 2024
Society
7-Year-Old Entrepreneur’s Lemonade Stand Overtakes Local Starbucks in Sales
Sunnyville, California – A 7-year-old entrepreneur’s lemonade stand has become the talk of the town after surpassing the local Starbucks…
August 16, 2024
Society
Man’s Attempt to Create World’s Spiciest Curry Results in Neighborhood Evacuation
Manchester, England – A local man’s culinary ambition spiraled out of control last week when his attempt to create the…
August 15, 2024
Society
Woman Sues Airline for Losing Her Emotional Support Cactus
In a bizarre turn of events that has left the aviation industry prickly with confusion, a woman from Tucson, Arizona,…