LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – Passengers aboard a Spirit Airlines flight from Burbank were presented with an unexpected itemized bill late Tuesday night, moments after their pilot successfully executed an emergency landing at Harry Reid International Airport. The flight, which experienced a complete hydraulic failure at 18,000 feet, was met by emergency crews on the tarmac, and, subsequently, by a flight attendant holding a credit card reader.
The pilot, Captain Rick “Maverick” Jensen, 52, calmly addressed the shaken passengers over the PA system once the plane had come to a complete and non-fiery stop. “Folks, as you know, we offer an à la carte experience here at Spirit,” his voice crackled. “Today, you had the option to experience a standard, uneventful landing, or our new premium offering: a high-stakes, life-affirming emergency landing. For your safety and entertainment, we provided the latter. Please have your payment method ready for the flight attendant.” The primary charge was a $79.99 “Successful Landing Fee,” with additional surcharges for “Oxygen Mask Deployment” ($25) and a “Brace Position Guidance” service fee ($15).
Reactions from the 145 passengers were mixed. “I paid for a flight, not a near-death-themed escape room with a surprise cover charge,” said Brenda Carmichael, a 28-year-old travel blogger from Los Angeles. “My carry-on was within their size limits, but apparently, my will to live was an unlisted ancillary service.” However, Chad, a 34-year-old crypto-day-trader who refused to give his last name, saw it differently. “Look, the guy delivered above-and-beyond results. You don’t get a 10x return on your investment—in this case, my life—without a performance bonus. I even tipped him in Dogecoin.”
Spirit Airlines has since placed Captain Jensen on paid administrative leave. In a statement, the company said, “While this ‘Emergency Service Surcharge’ is not currently part of our official fee structure, we admire Captain Jensen’s entrepreneurial spirit and are actively reviewing his ‘dynamic pricing model’ for potential beta testing on select routes.” The FAA has announced an investigation, though a spokesperson admitted they currently have “no specific regulations covering the monetization of not crashing.”