Denver, Colorado—Budget carrier AeroSurprise launched its highly anticipated “Mystery Destination” flight service last week, promising passengers an unforgettable adventure to a secret, exotic locale. The adventure concluded yesterday when Flight AS-MYST1, after a three-hour journey featuring complimentary champagne and an in-flight “guess the destination” contest, landed smoothly at its gate—Gate C42 at Denver International Airport, the same gate from which it had departed.
Among the 147 passengers was Brenda Schilling, a 58-year-old elementary school art teacher who had packed for a tropical climate. “I spent $40 on a new floral-print swimsuit cover-up and a floppy hat for this,” she stated, holding up her boarding pass stub and a small bag of complimentary peanuts. “The biggest mystery was why we circled for twenty minutes over eastern Colorado. I thought it was a clever ruse to throw us off the scent of Cabo. Turns out, they were just waiting for a gate to open up.” Another passenger, software engineer Mark Devonshire, 31, saw the bright side. “Honestly, the Wi-Fi was great. I managed to finish two episodes of my podcast and answer all my work emails. It was the most productive ‘vacation’ I’ve ever had. I didn’t even have to pay for an Uber home.”
In a press conference, AeroSurprise CEO Chip Altitude defended the launch, calling it a “resounding success in operational efficiency.” “We delivered on our core promise: a mystery. The destination was, technically, the airport they started at. The look of sheer, bewildered curiosity on our customers’ faces was worth every penny of their $399 fare,” Altitude said. “We’ve redefined the staycation.” As a gesture of goodwill, the airline is offering all affected passengers a 15% discount on a future “Mystery Destination” flight, though terms and conditions specify the discount is void if the passenger correctly guesses the destination in advance.