Society

Insurance Company Offers Discount if You Promise Nothing Bad Will Happen

Insurance Company Offers Discount if You Promise Nothing Bad Will Happen

New York, NY – Last Tuesday, SafeLife Insurance unveiled a groundbreaking premium discount program that requires policyholders to solemnly vow…
Hospital Charges Patient $4,200 Convenience Fee for Dying During Business Hours

Hospital Charges Patient $4,200 Convenience Fee for Dying During Business Hours

New York, NY – Last Tuesday, 72-year-old retired accountant Harold Jenkins passed away peacefully in his hospital bed at Mercy…
Vatican Issues Warning After Confessional Booth Starts Offering Targeted Ads

Vatican Issues Warning After Confessional Booth Starts Offering Targeted Ads

Vatican City, Italy – The Vatican issued an urgent warning yesterday after a confessional booth in a Rome basilica began…
New Bill Requires Politicians to Wear Sponsor Logos Like NASCAR Drivers

New Bill Requires Politicians to Wear Sponsor Logos Like NASCAR Drivers

Washington, D.C. – Lawmakers in the U.S. House of Representatives introduced a groundbreaking bill last week that would mandate politicians…
Insurance Company Denies Claim After Determining Patient Should Have Known Better

Insurance Company Denies Claim After Determining Patient Should Have Known Better

Chicago, Illinois – Last week, local health insurer OmniCare rejected a $5,000 emergency room claim from 42-year-old accountant Harold Jenkins…
Zillow Adds ‘Paranormal Activity’ as Search Filter for Home Buyers

Zillow Adds ‘Paranormal Activity’ as Search Filter for Home Buyers

Seattle, Washington – Zillow unveiled a new “Paranormal Activity” search filter yesterday, allowing home buyers to sift through listings haunted…
New York Apartment Listed for $4,200/Month Turns Out to Be Elaborate Cardboard Box Fort in Central Park

New York Apartment Listed for $4,200/Month Turns Out to Be Elaborate Cardboard Box Fort in Central Park

NEW YORK, NY – A promising Zillow listing for a one-bedroom apartment boasting “panoramic park views” and an “earthy, minimalist…
Woman Spends 3 Hours Explaining Why She Doesn’t Have Time to Talk

Woman Spends 3 Hours Explaining Why She Doesn’t Have Time to Talk

**Portland, Oregon—** Last Tuesday, local graphic designer Melissa Carter, 32, held an impassioned 3-hour seminar in her living room—complete with…
Seattle Barista Quits Job After Customer Demands ‘Extra Foam’ on a Glass of Water

Seattle Barista Quits Job After Customer Demands ‘Extra Foam’ on a Glass of Water

**Seattle Barista Quits Job After Customer Demands ‘Extra Foam’ on a Glass of Water** Seattle, Washington – A 23-year-old barista…
McDonald’s Employee Promoted to Manager After Successfully Fixing Ice Cream Machine That Had Been Broken for 3 Years

McDonald’s Employee Promoted to Manager After Successfully Fixing Ice Cream Machine That Had Been Broken for 3 Years

**Topeka, Kansas** – A 19-year-old McDonald’s crew member was fast-tracked to management last Tuesday after accomplishing what corporate engineers, maintenance…

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