General
October 03, 2025
General
AI Therapist Recommends Patient ‘Touch Grass’
PALO ALTO, CA – A local synergy architect received an unexpectedly analog prescription from his AI therapist last Tuesday after…
October 02, 2025
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Startup Launches Dating App That Matches Users Based on Shared Trauma
Boise, Idaho – A new dating app, “WoundMates,” launched yesterday, promising to revolutionize romance by connecting singles based on their…
October 01, 2025
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Zoom Introduces Button That Pretends Your Wi-Fi Is Cutting Out
SAN JOSE, CA – In a move aimed at enhancing user control over their virtual meeting experience, Zoom Video Communications…
September 30, 2025
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Wikipedia Editor Fired for Citing ‘A Vibe’ as a Primary Source
Omaha, Nebraska – A Wikipedia editor was summarily dismissed from their volunteer duties last Thursday after repeatedly citing “a vibe”…
September 29, 2025
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Johnson & Johnson Launches Autism-Proof Pain Reliever Line in Response to Claims
New Brunswick, New Jersey Johnson & Johnson yesterday unveiled an “Autism-Proof” line of over-the-counter acetaminophen, a branding pivot meant to…
September 26, 2025
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16-year old man forces emergency landing after trying to rawdog a 14-hour flight
Los Angeles, CA – A 16-year-old high school student forced an emergency landing last Thursday after attempting to “rawdog” a…
September 25, 2025
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TikTok Influencer Arrested After Attempting to Live-Stream Birth of Neighbor’s Baby
**Burbank, California – Local TikTok Sensation Detained After Uninvited Birthing Broadcast Attempt** Burbank, California – In an incident that has…
September 24, 2025
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Bank Of America Introduces ‘Anxiety Fee’ For Customers Who Check Their Balance Too Often
Charlotte, North Carolina, last Tuesday, Bank of America announced a groundbreaking new initiative: the “Anxiety Fee,” specifically targeting customers who…
September 23, 2025
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American Man Sues European City for Emotional Distress After Getting Lost in a Roundabout for 6 hours
Paris, France – A 43-year-old Ohio-based marketing executive is seeking €250,000 in damages from the city after his rental car…
September 22, 2025
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TSA Unveils New ‘Pre-Pre-Check’ Line for People Who Simply Look Trustworthy
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA – The Transportation Security Administration on Tuesday unveiled a pilot program at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport designed…