October 31, 2025
Society
Bank Announces New Fee for Customers Who Don’t Have Enough Money
Omaha, Nebraska – Last week, First Fiduciary Bank & Trust unveiled its innovative “Financial Inactivity Fee,” a new $15 monthly…
October 30, 2025
Society
NBA Player Sued After Locker Room Video Shows Diarrhea Incident During Postgame Sex Celebration
Miami, Florida – A 28-year-old Miami Heat forward, Jamal “The Jammer” Thompson, faces a lawsuit from a team equipment manager…
October 29, 2025
Entertainment
Plague Inc. Sales Spike 340% in Iceland Following Real Mosquito Confirmation
Kjós, Iceland—Residents here are buzzing after the confirmation of the country’s first wild mosquitoes last week, with video game sales…
October 28, 2025
Technology
Verizon Customer Service Rep Wins Employee of the Year After Successfully Transferring The Most Calls
Newark, New Jersey – Last week, Verizon awarded its Employee of the Year title to Bob Hargrove, a 42-year-old customer…
October 27, 2025
Society
Chemistry Teacher Arrested After Students Discover His Lesson Plans Are Just Breaking Bad Episodes
Albuquerque, New Mexico – A 52-year-old chemistry teacher at West Mesa High School was arrested last week after students uncovered…
October 24, 2025
Technology
Tesla Owner Arrested for Sleeping Through 200-Mile Journey on Autopilot Across State Lines
Seattle, Washington – A 35-year-old accountant was arrested early yesterday morning after his Tesla Model S carried him 200 miles…
October 23, 2025
Science
Hospital Introduces Express Lane for Patients Who Self-Diagnosed on WebMD
Chicago, Illinois – Yesterday, St. Mary’s General Hospital unveiled an express lane dedicated to patients who arrive convinced they’ve self-diagnosed…
October 22, 2025
Society
Tinder Launches “Parental Controls” Feature After User Accidentally Matches With His Mom
Seattle, Washington – Tinder unveiled a new “Parental Controls” feature yesterday, following a mortifying mishap last week when 28-year-old barista…
October 21, 2025
Society
Insurance Company Offers Discount if You Promise Nothing Bad Will Happen
New York, NY – Last Tuesday, SafeLife Insurance unveiled a groundbreaking premium discount program that requires policyholders to solemnly vow…
October 20, 2025
Society
Hospital Charges Patient $4,200 Convenience Fee for Dying During Business Hours
New York, NY – Last Tuesday, 72-year-old retired accountant Harold Jenkins passed away peacefully in his hospital bed at Mercy…