September 22, 2025
General
TSA Unveils New ‘Pre-Pre-Check’ Line for People Who Simply Look Trustworthy
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA – The Transportation Security Administration on Tuesday unveiled a pilot program at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport designed…
September 19, 2025
General
Budget Airline Introduces Coin Slots for Oxygen Mask Activation During Flights
Denver, Colorado—Last week, budget carrier SkyPinch Airways unveiled its latest cost-cutting initiative: retrofitting its fleet with coin-operated oxygen mask dispensers.…
September 18, 2025
General
Startup Valued at $1 Billion Despite Having No Product, Employees, or Business Plan
PALO ALTO, CA — A press release was quietly emailed from a local coffee shop’s Wi-Fi last week, announcing that…
September 17, 2025
General
Pentagon Announces New Stealth Bomber Is So Advanced Even They Can’t Find It
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Pentagon held a hastily arranged press conference this morning to provide an update on its next-generation…
September 16, 2025
General
City Council Approves $2 Million Study to Determine Why Studies Cost $2 Million
Springfield, USA. – Last week greenlit a $2 million feasibility study to investigate the root causes of municipal study costs,…
September 15, 2025
General
Influencer Cancels Apology Video After It Gets Demonetized
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a stunning display of digital contrition last Tuesday, lifestyle influencer Jake Blaze, 22, uploaded a…
September 12, 2025
Science
Geologists Confirm Mountain Did Not Exist In That Spot Before It Was Formed
Boulder, Colorado – Following a landmark five-year study, a team of geologists from the North American Topographical Survey (NATS) announced yesterday…
September 11, 2025
Technology
Self-Driving Tesla Reportedly Develops Road Rage, Spends 20 Minutes Honking at Car in Front for Going the Speed Limit
Mountain View, CA – A 2023 Tesla Model S running the latest “Full Self-Driving” beta software reportedly entered a state…
September 10, 2025
Technology
Silicon Valley Startup ‘JuryPal’ Allows Users to Outsource Jury Duty to Gig Workers in Bangalore
Santa Clara, CA – A small claims court proceeding was abruptly halted last week after a judge discovered that a…
September 09, 2025
General
DOJ Intern Accidentally Releases Albert Einstein’s Calculus Homework Instead of Epstein Files
Washington, D.C. – A 22-year-old Department of Justice intern accidentally released 47 pages of Albert Einstein’s Princeton University calculus homework…