November 14, 2025
Society
University Offers New Major in “Professional Online Arguing”
Tallahassee, Florida — Yesterday morning, Florida State University’s College of Communication unfurled a 40-foot banner above its bell tower announcing…
November 13, 2025
Society, Technology
Uber Driver Receives Five-Star Review After Successfully Not Talking During Entire Ride
Austin, Texas – Last Tuesday, 29-year-old part-time EDM producer and full-time Uber driver Marcus “DJ MuteMode” Alvarez pulled up to…
November 12, 2025
Society
Insurance Company Denies Man’s Claim After Discovering He Smiled in Hospital Admission Photo
Chicago, Illinois – Last week, 45-year-old accountant Bob Thompson was stunned when SecureLife Insurance rejected his $12,000 hospital claim, citing…
November 11, 2025
Society
Grocery Store Launches Membership Tier That Lets You Skip Self-Checkout and Talk to a Human
Seattle, Washington – Last week, local grocery chain Pacific Fresh Markets unveiled a new premium membership tier called “Human Touch…
November 10, 2025
Society
Credit Card Company Introduces Shame Score Based on Embarrassing Purchase History
San Francisco, California – Last week, VisaFi, a leading credit card issuer, rolled out its controversial “Shame Score” system, which…
November 07, 2025
Entertainment
‘Call of Duty’ Player Reported for Using Kind and Encouraging Language in Game Chat
Seattle, Washington – Last week, a 28-year-old software engineer named Jordan Hale was banned from ‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare’…
November 06, 2025
Sports
Umpire Ejects Himself After Realizing He Missed Entire Inning
Minneapolis, Minnesota – Last Saturday, veteran umpire Bob Harlan, 58, made headlines during a Minnesota Twins minor league affiliate game…
November 05, 2025
Technology
High School Teacher Bans Grokipedia After Student Cites It to Prove Napoleon Was Left-Handed
Austin, Texas – Last week, history teacher Margaret “Maggie” Thompson, a 52-year-old veteran educator at Westlake High School, banned students…
November 04, 2025
Science
NASA Astronaut Requests Return to Earth After Forgetting to Download Netflix Shows Before Launch
Houston, Texas – NASA astronaut Captain Elena Vargas, 38, a veteran of two previous space missions, radioed mission control yesterday…
November 03, 2025
Society
Airline Pilot Grounds Flight After Passengers Refuse to Turn Off Airplane Mode
Miami, Florida – A Delta Air Lines flight bound for Atlanta was grounded yesterday after Captain Harold “Tech-Hater” Wilkins, a…