In a move that has left food critics and tap water enthusiasts alike scratching their heads, the upscale restaurant “Aqua Pretentia” in San Francisco has unveiled a groundbreaking $100 water tasting menu. The establishment, known for its avant-garde approach to dining, now offers patrons the opportunity to sample an array of water varieties, including locally sourced tap water and artisanal rainwater collected from the Bay Area’s microclimates.
Chef and owner, Hydro McSplash, defended the new menu, stating, “Water is the essence of life, and we believe it deserves the same respect as fine wine or aged whiskey. Our water sommeliers have curated a selection that will tantalize the taste buds and hydrate the soul.” The menu features such delicacies as “Misty Morning Dew,” collected from Golden Gate Park’s fog, and “Urban Oasis,” which is described as “tap water aged for 72 hours in a crystal decanter blessed by a local shaman.”
Local food critic, Sasha Sarcastic, was less than impressed after her experience at Aqua Pretentia. “I never knew I could pay so much for something I get for free at home,” she quipped. “The highlight was definitely the ‘Rooftop Runoff’ – nothing quite like the taste of pigeon droppings and air pollution to cleanse the palate.” Despite the mixed reviews, the restaurant claims to have a waiting list of thirsty patrons eager to experience the pinnacle of water connoisseurship. As one enthusiastic customer put it, “I used to think water was just water, but now I realize I’ve been living in a tasteless desert all my life. This experience has truly opened my eyes – and my wallet.”