In a surprising twist that has left fitness enthusiasts scratching their heads, the Flex & Ponder Gym in Boise, Idaho, has introduced a revolutionary new class called “Thought Lifting.” The gym claims that participants can achieve significant mental gains without breaking a single drop of sweat.
“We’ve been focusing on physical fitness for far too long,” says gym owner Chad Brainstrong. “It’s time we gave our minds the workout they deserve.” The class involves participants sitting in a circle, lifting oversized foam dumbbells with pictures of famous philosophers printed on them, and shouting out random facts they’ve memorized from Wikipedia. “I’ve never felt so intellectually swole,” exclaimed Sarah Mindmuscle, a regular attendee, while struggling to curl a foam Aristotle.
The gym has reported a surge in membership since introducing the class, with many citing the appeal of getting smarter without the inconvenience of actually reading or studying. Local scientist Dr. Ima Skeptic remains unconvinced, stating, “This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You can’t build brain cells by pretending to lift weights.” In response, Brainstrong flexed his temple and retorted, “Sounds like someone needs to work on their mental gains. Do you even think, bro?”