Boca Raton, Florida – A local all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant found itself in an unprecedented predicament last Tuesday when 94-year-old fitness enthusiast Gertrude “Iron Granny” Steele was caught attempting to deadlift the entire salad bar. The incident occurred during the lunchtime rush at the Golden Corral on Federal Highway, leaving patrons and staff alike in a state of disbelief.
Witnesses report that Steele, a regular at both the buffet and the nearby Silver Sneakers gym, entered the establishment wearing her signature neon sweatband and proceeded to warm up near the dessert station. “I thought she was just doing her usual pre-meal stretches,” said Martha Finkelstein, 82, a fellow buffet enthusiast. “But when she whipped out a chalk bag and started dusting her hands, I knew something was amiss.”
According to restaurant manager Brad Thompson, 36, Steele managed to lift the 400-pound salad bar a full three inches off the ground before staff intervened. “She kept yelling ‘No pain, no grain!’ which doesn’t even make sense given it was a salad bar,” Thompson recounted. When asked about her motivation, Steele quipped, “I’m on a see-food diet. I see food, I lift it!”
In light of the incident, Golden Corral has reluctantly banned Steele from the premises. The nonagenarian powerhouse, however, remains undeterred. “If they think this will stop me, they’re sorely mistaken,” Steele declared. “I’ve already got my sights set on the soup station at Luby’s. Those ladles won’t know what hit ’em!”
Local authorities are now considering implementing a “senior strength” task force to prevent similar occurrences at other area buffets. Meanwhile, Steele has reportedly been approached by several protein shake companies for potential endorsement deals.