Phoenix, Arizona – Local amateur astronomer Jake Thompson, 32, experienced a moment of profound realization last Tuesday when he attempted to observe the sun using his newly purchased telescope. The incident occurred in Thompson’s backyard during what he described as “a perfectly clear day for solar observation.”
“I thought I’d get a real close-up view of those sunspots everyone’s always talking about,” Thompson explained, squinting through his non-damaged eye. “Instead, all I got was this weird black spot in my vision and a newfound appreciation for protective eyewear.” Thompson, who works as a software engineer, admitted that he had skipped reading the instruction manual that came with his telescope, stating, “I figured it was just a really fancy magnifying glass. Boy, was I wrong.”
Neighbors reported hearing a loud yelp followed by colorful language emanating from Thompson’s yard. Sarah Rodriguez, who lives next door, recounted, “I heard him shout something like ‘Great Scott, my retinas!’ It was like a scene from a cartoon, but with more swearing.” Local optometrist Dr. Emily Chen, who treated Thompson, commented, “We see this more often than you’d think. It’s always the ones who say ‘How bad could it be?’ that end up in my chair.”
Following the incident, Thompson has announced plans to start a support group for “misguided stargazers” and is considering a career change to become a safety instructor for astronomy clubs. “If I can save just one person from making the same mistake, then my temporary blindness won’t have been in vain,” Thompson declared. He also added that he’s looking forward to his upcoming project: observing a lunar eclipse by staring directly at it with his naked eye.