San Diego, California – A 5-year-old African Grey parrot named Freddie has taken an unconventional approach to communication, learning sign language to avoid speaking out loud. The introverted bird, residing at the San Diego Zoo, surprised keepers last week when it began using its talons to form recognizable signs instead of vocalizing.
Dr. Emily Featherstone, the zoo’s lead avian specialist, explained, “We thought Freddie was just unusually quiet for his species. Turns out, he’s been silently judging us this whole time.” She added, “When I tried to get him to say ‘hello,’ he signed back, ‘Do we have to do this every day?’ I’ve never felt so personally attacked by a bird.”
Freddie’s owner, 32-year-old software developer Mark Stillman, adopted the parrot three years ago, unaware of its introverted tendencies. “I thought I was getting a chatty companion,” Stillman said, shaking his head. “Instead, I got a feathered roommate who communicates less than my ex-girlfriend.” When asked about Freddie’s favorite signs, Stillman replied, “He’s particularly fond of ‘leave me alone’ and ‘your taste in music is questionable.'”
As news of Freddie’s unique communication style spreads, the San Diego Zoo is considering offering special “silent bird-watching” tours. Meanwhile, Stillman plans to teach Freddie how to use a smartphone, hoping the bird will at least text him occasionally. “Who knows?” Stillman mused. “Maybe he’ll finally tell me what he really thinks about my dating life through emojis.”